I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
