just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
