Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
