do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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