I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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