He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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