You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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