What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
