Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
