Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
OPIZZABONMYDICK
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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