dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
