So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
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