his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I have already put on my inside pants.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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