Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
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