Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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