her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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