We're facebook friends in real life
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
