Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
