You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
