Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
