my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
