You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
