Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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