I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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