its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
