i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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