i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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