Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
