just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
