even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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