I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
