Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
i dont even know how to be here
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
