i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize