So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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