I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
