Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
