I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
