I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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