Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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