Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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