Well douche your snatch and let's go!
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Randomize
