Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
