you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
