STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
