are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Boobs are out for the taking
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
