You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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