i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
