By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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