Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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