areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
