Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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