I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Randomize
