I have demons in me.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
