if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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