i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
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